Snogging
by madoushi
Summary: Harry's POV on snogging with Draco. o_O This is a weird one.


Snogging  
  
  
disclaimer: it is my fervent wish that J.K. Rowling be a slasher. in the meantime, allow me to play with her characters while she decides whether to slash them or not.  
  
warnings: weird one, i tell ya. weird for me is insightful, and since these are more or less my insights, they most definitely are weird. it can be a bit confusing and jumbled too.  
  
feedback: it's ok if you don't want to. i just had to get this out of my system. i don't really know if you will like it. but if you do like it, it won't hurt to encourage me a bit no? --; try and convince me it's not weird. o_O;;;;  
  
other notes: i refuse to give any comment on my reason behind this fic. O_O  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
I didn't understand other people's view of snogging before.   
  
Neville (I wonder who he's been snogging?) said it was like magic; you can feel power flowing from you into your partner and vice-versa. He told me that it was like sharing a spell. Dean simply said it would make you moan and want for more. Seamus said.. I will not elaborate on what Seamus said.  
  
One thing I can be sure of, though. Snogging can be a humbling experience. Sometimes you feel powerful, and in control, and someone snogs you and blows you away..  
  
I found myself in this state recently, feeling the pride of the Gryffindor that I am. My DADA marks are definitely working their way up, I have friends, people support me, and I pushed a more bold thought in my head: Voldemort couldn't defeat me.  
  
I was in this stable state of mind when Malfoy came and as if with one finger to my chest he tipped me over and my world was spinning.  
  
He snogged me in the halls. You can imagine that I didn't see it coming, going back to the Gryffindor towers from dinner. I thought he was going to pester me as usual. I was standing warily some feet away from him.   
  
He grinned at me. I thought, 'Malfoy usually does not grin, he likes to sneer or smirk.'  
  
He suddenly grabbed at my robes. I thought, 'Malfoy usually does not like physical contact, he likes to throw acid from a certain distance.'  
  
He shoved me against the wall of a darkened corner. I thought, 'Malfoy is usually not *this* aggressive nor violent, he likes to work his dark ways covertly.'  
  
Then he kissed me. I thought, 'Most especially, Malfoy usually does not snog you in the hallway, he likes to..'  
  
At that point all thought had left me.  
  
Actual snogging isn't what it's usually described by my friends who get their kicks in the Astrology Tower.   
  
Actual snogging for me with Draco was different. It was so.. *there.* And *now.*  
  
It was godshesbringinghislipstomineitshotandwetandhandsandtonguecantbreathemustpartbreathebreathe.  
  
Once I caught my breath, I raised my eyes to his.  
  
What I saw there made me want to flee. Literally.  
  
But then.. omygodhespullingmecloseagainanditshotandwetandhandsandtongue--  
  
I ran. I pushed him away and I ran to my dorm, flung myself to bed, and stayed there.   
  
My thoughts.. They were rampaging like a flock of Hippogriffs in the receiving end of a rude hand gesture. But my body seemed to protest such strain and put me to sleep.  
  
Of course the next day I woke up thinking to myself that it probably didn't happen. It was too surreal. I mean, hello? Malfoy kissing you in the hallway for no apparent reason?   
  
I blushed at the thought, then I shook my head, startled. I had blushed. Why did I blush? Innocent people do not blush. People blush because they are no longer innocent, and are entertaining.. not-so-innocent thoughts.  
  
I shook my head again, willing it all away. This was just too unrealistic.  
  
And glancing at the Slytherin table at breakfast confirmed its reality. Malfoy was staring at me, a small smile on his lips, as if we shared a secret.  
  
A secret that was definitely, undeniably *real.*  
  
Do you recall anybody saying that after the first time you've been thoroughly snogged, you lapse into this daze? I find this very true. I like to believe that this is the time when you analyze the whole thing. People - or I, at least - can't think during the actual snogging. The 'dazed' part after is when you run the scene over and over in your head, and your emotions shift each time you hit the imaginary replay button.  
  
Shock was the first to register in me. I've just received my first kiss. My first kiss was Draco Malfoy. Well damn.  
  
Replay.  
  
Next, it was fear. What would this imply? He kissed me. He made me feel like he is in control and *not* me. He's pulling me in and I can't resist.. I am being humbled..  
  
Replay.  
  
Then it was anger. How could he do that to me? How *dare* he? He had no right to harrass me like that, jumping me on the hallway, the sick bastard.  
  
Replay, replay, replay, replay.  
  
After a while, it was wonder that slowly took over.  
  
Draco definitely knew what he was doing. He was masterful at snogging, which raised the fear inside me a little again, for I've never been snogged before. It was a new experience for me, but definitely not for him. Probably the reason why I pulled away was due to the alarms in my head, blaring, "NEW EXPERIENCE!! NEW EXPERIENCE!!"   
  
I don't think it was because it was Draco Malfoy, I think I really would have fled from whoever my first kiss would be. But partly, yes, the fact being that my first kiss was Draco did have its hand on the alarms, but it was probably because of that look on his face after the kiss.  
  
What I had seen there was want, and need. He was not doing this to spite me. He certainly tried to make it look that way, but rethinking on it, and recalling the look in his eyes.. No. He wanted and needed me.  
  
My stomach was definitely into gymnastics.  
  
Yes, it's also true what they say about not being able to eat nor sleep. My stomach flipped every time I remember the feel of his lips, the scent of him filling my head, the hot connection, the look in his silver eyes after. No food could make its way down my stomach remembering that.  
  
Of course, lessons today proved ineffective as well. It was the perfect time to think, to brood.  
  
But Potions.. Potions was torture. The sole occupant of your mind and you in the same room, not leaving you to your confused thoughts in peace, however ironic that might sound.. I was staring at him idiotically, and he looked up and saw me. Stupid me, still in that after-snog daze: I didn't look away.  
  
We stared at each other.  
  
And he knew. He knew the reason behind the daze. He knew I haven't stopped thinking about it.  
  
And he also knew I knew. I knew that he wanted me and needed me.   
  
And he smiled a genuine smile, just for me.  
  
There was my stomach again.  
  
That night, returning home from dinner, I stopped short when I saw him at that same hallway again. He was looking at me, the kind of look that said much, way too much.  
  
And it was me who propelled forward, brought my lips to his, and then it was hotandwetandtongueandhandsandheatand--magic.  
  
I understand Neville's explanation now. I didn't before. It's only that I don't really think about it when I do it, because I can't. Snogging really is being *there* and experiencing it to the fullest.  
  
I think I can get addicted to it.  
  
END  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kimichan/ 


End file.
